10 things not to say to a pregnant lady!

I found this on a blog Welcome to our world! and just had to share it!  

Too funny!

10: "Are You Having Twins?"

Never. Ever. Tell a pregnant woman (who, by most odds, is carrying only one teensy little embryo) that she appears to be incubating an entire litter. Not only are you inadvertently comparing her to a four-legged creature, but you also are commenting (and not very subtly) on her girth. 

You should also steer clear of this related statement: "I'll bet you're due any day now." It's not possible to judge a due date by simply eyeballing a pregnant belly, so don't take your chances. Sure, the woman in question may be due today or tomorrow, but if her baby's not scheduled to appear for another month or two, you can imagine how welcome your observation must be. 

*luckily, I haven't heard this yet!  I just keep getting!  How far are along are you?  You're so small!!!  I know people!  Thanks to losing 12 lbs and me not eating like a fat pig, I have managed to only gain what I need =)* 



9: "Can I Rub Your Belly?" 

Hey! That's someones stomach, not a good luck charm. 
At least you asked. Did you know that most people don't? It's time to go against the grain and refrain from laying hands on burgeoning bellies. We know those taut tummies bursting with baby are tempting to rub, but moms-to-be are understandably protective. If you wouldn't walk up to a woman and rub her belly sans pregnancy, we're pretty sure you shouldn't be doing it if she is expecting. So don't be surprised if she tells you "no," blocks your hand or takes a step backward. 

Don't get us wrong. Most pregnant women would be more than happy if you shared their joy. They'd just like you to do it without entering their restricted air space. Particularly if they barely know you. 

*I actually don't mind this!  I love showing off my baby bump and letting people feel it.  A lot of my patients at work love asking me about my pregnancy and love feeling my bump!  It's cute!!!  And it gives me some credit b/c then my patients are nice to me and don't try to bug me too much*

8: "I Was In Labor Forever!" 

Your labor may have been a 40-hour affair, rife with bloodletting and pain, but keep it to yourself. No pregnant woman, ever, really wants to hear your war story. We're already losing sleep over all the things that could go wrong with pregnancy and delivery, and we don't need your visual aids to add to the mix. 

After all, the realities of labor are as close as docu-style television shows or that stack of books now populating our nightstands. What we need from you is probably more along the lines of, "You'll be fine." Same goes for episiotomy's. There are just some things a pregnant woman doesn't want to know. 

* ditto!  It's surprising how everyone wants to tell you about their horror stories and how this baby has an issue now from the delivery, etc.  Luckily, I'm a nurse and know what can and can't happen so I'm already prepared but geesh people, can we talk about something happy?!?*


7: "Who's The Daddy?" 

Wow. Did you really not know this question was off-limits? If you'd like to avoid the half-eaten enchilada (or whatever snack happens to be at hand) surely being aimed at your head, steer clear of this lineage-based query. The truth is, if you're unsure who this baby's father is, you probably don't know her well enough to ask. 

Of course, if a pregnant woman is in your circle of family and friends, you know exactly who the father is, and are simply making a joke. If she's a veritable stranger, we won't feel a bit sorry for you when that enchilada hits. The same goes for referring to the baby's father as the "baby daddy." Seriously? 

*I have never been asked this, thank goodness!!!*




6: "Was It a Surprise?" 

There are plenty of surprises during pregnancy and delivery, such as suddenly wearing a larger shoe size or becoming a first-time acne sufferer. Even if the pregnancy itself was a bit of a shock, we're not prepared to discuss it with you, so stop asking whether it was planned. 

The next time you ask a pregnant woman whether her baby-to-be is the result of carefully mitigated circumstances, take our advice: Just don't. Unless you'd like to be on the receiving end of a carefully culled comeback, like, "I see you've gained a little weight. Was that planned, too?" 

*I was actually asked this on Friday AT WORK by an EMPLOYEE when I was getting fitted for my N95 respirator mask.  He works for employee health and was asking all sorts of personal questions about my pregnancy!  Very weird!  First of all, NONE OF YOUR FREAKING BUSINESS, and 2nd, yes she was planned!!!!! =) *

5: "Aren't You Too Old For Kids?" 

In 2010, 47-year-old actress Kelly Preston gave birth to a much-celebrated baby amidst "isn't-she-too-old-for-that" buzz. As any woman who's been able to legally vote for at least a decade can attest, there's no shortage of people who will wonder, aloud, whether we can handle such an undertaking at such advanced age. Such pondering, as with most comments related to pregnancy, should be kept on the down-low -- reserved only for catty conversations with your closest friends. 

And, pregnant women, please refrain from self-effacing comments like, "I'm too old for this," when rattling off the bodily woes that inevitably accompany your impending bundle of joy. Chances are, the woman to whom you're commiserating is a) older than you are or b) was older than you during her last pregnancy. 


*well, I mostly get asked, "how old are you? (from my patients).  You look like a baby!"  I guess I don't look old enough to be a nurse and pregnant haha! *


4: "Better You Than Me." 

Don't corner a pregnant woman at the market, office or playground, shake your head and say, "Better you than me." How does that celebrate her upcoming baby? 

For many women, an impending arrival is the result of years of planning -- or about nine months of incubating, at least -- and she really is looking forward to being a mom. The fact that you seem to see the blessed event as little more than an arduous undertaking is a sly way of minimizing something that's oh-so-important. It's the mother of all backhanded compliments, and depending upon hormonal fluctuations, it could earn you the same. 


*ugh!  So rude*


3: "I Only Gained [Insert Ridiculous Number] Pounds When I Was Pregnant!" 

It's not easy for a pregnant woman to feel pretty while sporting stretchy pants, so take it easy with your weight gain/loss comments. While it may be true (although we'd like to see proof) that you gained a sprightly 12 pounds (5 kilograms) while carrying your first, second or third child, keep this little nugget to yourself. At least until we've retired our pregnancy pants. 

There is, however, one exception to this hard-and-fast rule: If you want to regale us with tales of how you gained a portly 80 pounds (36 kilograms) during your pregnancy and then spent a subsequent two years taking it off, that's one story we don't mind hearing. 

*Luckily, with the "you're so small" comment, I don't get this.  I have only gained 14 lbs so far.  Not by choice, but b/c I apparently have a bug named Iris that is eating up everything that I consume haha*


2: "You'll Never Sleep Again." 

We get it. Babies don't sleep all night. Still, we're not quite ready to hear all about the reality of your child's early days, what with you never sleeping and all. This is one time when it's fine (even admirable) to sugarcoat it. 

So, the next time you're tempted to share a few tales about not sleeping through the night until after your child's third birthday, don't. We'll figure it out soon, enough. And, if we happen to birth a snoozer, one who sleeps a blissful midnight-to-6 shift, we promise to keep it to ourselves, too. We'd hate to be the source of a little parenting envy.

*I have to say that this is the most annoying thing!  Going back to wanting to talk about happy things, we know we will lose sleep so please keep said comments to yourself.  Tell us the joys of how wonderful it will be haha  Lie to us =)* 


1: "Are You Disappointed It's a Boy?" 

What's the point of asking? Can the mother send him back for another model? Truth is, how she feels about baby's gender is her business. She may be elated with what Nature gifted her. Or, she may have dreamed of a girl, gotten the opposite (or vice versa) and needs some time to mentally adjust. 

So she may not feel like answering when family, friends or veritable strangers question her innermost feelings on the matter. And in the end, who's going to care when they see the perfect baby she'll be holding in her arms?


*2nd comment from the idiot at work who asked us if it was a surprise, he was also asking if we were happy the baby was a girl!  Well, like we have a freakin choice!  We were happy with whatever the baby was!  We want a health baby no matter what the sex was*  




Silly people =)